I Need You, Please Come Home

For those of you who don't know, I currently drive a two door Ford Explorer which I "won" in a very fair trade with my Papa. He took my Hyundai, I took the four wheel drive. The problem is that I've become so accustomed to driving my tank that I honestly can't drive another car without catastrophe. I know you're thinking "an Explorer isn't a tank". But it IS, you see, it's MY tank and I need it! So of course, what happens? It breaks... and now I'm going to have to fork over $800 to recover my tank from this hostage situation called "repairs"! Geek me out, say what?

In the meantime I'm driving the Boyfriend's old school Thunderbird which, by the way, is covered in Jimmy Buffet stickers. But more than the parrot head issues, his bright green sports car makes me feel like I should be in a White Snake video. Yesterday I even felt pretty sexy driving around in it with my sunglasses on, my hair whipping in the wind and Metallica blasting on 94.1. That is, of course, until I tried to GET OUT of the very short sports car, tripped over myself, slammed the door into my side/foot/arm and got my hair caught in the door.

My rantings in the Saladworks parking lot may have scarred innocent children. Tall women should stay away from low to the ground sports cars. But in all seriousness thank goodness for coffee. It is the defining factor that maintains my role as a member of the working class instead of becoming a member of the sleep-until-noon class or the I'm-so-embarrassed-I'm-going-home-and-hiding-under-the-covers class. Good thing for me I'm not prone to embarrassment anymore due to years of overexposure to the feeling.

On a positive note: My sister bought me these outrageously purple flats for my birthday in December. I'm in love. Thanks Shawnie! xoxo.

I also made a meatloaf the other night during the "snowicane" and wanted to share my recipe with you. I love meatloaf. I love meatloaf. I love meatloaf. Ok, I think you get the point. This recipe is fast, easy and delicious. It also makes the Boyfriend extremely happy.

Meatloaf

Ingredients:

1 Pound Meatloaf Mix (can use Ground Beef or Ground Turkey, or a combination of the two)

1 Egg

1/4 Cup Yellow Onion (finely chopped)

1/4 Cup Plain Bread Crumbs

1/2 Can Cream of Mushroom Soup

1 Garlic Clove (finely chopped)

Worcestershire Sauce (To Taste)

Salt (To Taste)

Pepper (To Taste)

You will need:

Medium Size Bowl (for mixing)

One Loaf Pan (as seen in the second photo below)

Additionally:

Don't forget the ketchup! In my Mama's house we always had Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and peas. If you ask me, this is still the best combination.

Directions:

1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and pour yourself a glass of wine.

2.) Combine all ingredients in a Medium Size Bowl. (as seen below)

3.) Mash the ingredients all together. I use my hands. You can use a spoon if that concept freaks you out.

4.) Pour now combined mixture into a Loaf Pan and level it out with your hands (or a spoon, wimp). You'll want to shape it to fit into the corners of the pan. (as seen below)


5.) Place the Meatloaf in the oven on the medium rack for about 30 minutes. The time depends entirely on the oven. You'll want your meatloaf to be golden brown on top with no sign of pink. Another thing to note is whether the edges seems crispy and the middle doesn't look like mush. Just sayin...

6.) Relax, you have a half an hour. Drink some wine. Watch TV. Call your girlfriend and tell her how awesome you are. Girls love that.

7.) Once the Meatloaf is ready, pull it out of the oven, let it cool and grab your ketchup.

8.) Enjoy!

This is my idea of what Meatloaf dinner looks like:

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I had a funny premise to this recipe written up all nicely in my new, leather notebook (let me focus on that word- NEW). But then! the phone rang... which I answered... at the same exact time that I twisted my chair around to locate the culprit who was insidiously tapping on my cube. A small conversation ensued and I briefly forgot that the phone (with the person going "Hello? Hello?") was in my hand.

Well, I also failed to realize that my phone cord had wrapped itself around my coffee cup. SO! when I turned back to speak to the person on the phone, I turned just in time to spill my coffee all over myself, my NEW notebook, my phone and every post-it from here to Alabama. FABULOUS. I guess I'm having one of those days... and that bastard at philly.com who writes my horoscope gave me 5 stars today!!! Liar.

Now I smell, I reek of coffee... and not in that "oooo yum, that smells fabulous way" no, in a "has anyone cleaned the coffee pot this week?" kind of way.

More than anything, I really, really wanted to post the recipe for Cabbage Rolls because it is one of me and my Boyfriend's absolute favorites. IMPORTANT NOTE: don't forget the sour cream!

Stuffed Cabbage:

1 1/4 pound Meatloaf Mix (you can use ground beef or ground turkey or whatever you have that is ground)

1 Cabbage (leaves pulled off, separated and washed)

1 1/4 Cups Milk

1/2 Cup Rice

1 Cup Milk

Worcestershire Sauce (To Taste)

Salt (To Taste)

Pepper (To Taste)

Brown Sugar (To Taste)

1/2 Cup Water

Olive Oil

Sour Cream

You Will Need:

a Large Pot

Medium Frying Pan

a Casserole Dish

Directions:

1. Bring a large pot of water, with salt, to a boil. Once it begins boiling, begin adding the Cabbage Leaves making sure to submerge them completely.

2. In the meantime, heat 1 1/4 Cups Milk over Medium Low heat, add the rice and cook, stirring frequently, until fluffy and not crunchy.

3. Once the rice is done cooking, combine the Meatloaf Mix, 1 Cup of Milk, Worcestershire Sauce, Salt, Pepper, and the Rice.

4. Take a sip of wine, you have a wait and it might get complicated.

5. Once the cabbage leaves can be poked with a fork, but aren't falling apart begin to take them out. You'll see that they may not all fit in the pot so it will become a process. Allow them to drain on a towel or paper towel and cool.

6. Once all your leaves are cool and ready to go, take each leave and spread it out. Add a handful of the Meat/Rice Mixture to the middle of each leaf and roll it up.

7. Once you've rolled all the leaves up and packed them with meat, take a sip of wine, pat yourself on the back, heat some olive oil in a frying pan over Medium High heat and turn the oven to 350 degrees.

8. Add the Cabbage Rolls to the olive oil and allow them to slightly brown on both sides.

9. Once the Cabbage Rolls have been browned, spread them out in the Casserole Dish. Add enough water to cover about 1/8 of each Cabbage Roll. Sprinkle with brown sugar, cover and place in the oven for about an hour and a half.

10. Grab the sour cream (this is a condiment), get some wine, sit down and enjoy.

Sidenote: Once the Cabbage Rolls are cooked, you have the option to add red sauce (or better yet you can cook them in red sauce) I don't eat them this way.... but if you're curious, let me know and I'll help you out!

I Will Have Another... Thank You Alfred

Dear Room Service Delivery Man,

Thank you for bringing me the paper. It is very important to be well-informed in today's society. The cartoon section was extremely insightful. I would sincerely like to thank you for the coffee. You certainly know the way to a woman's heart. The flower was unnecessary, but I'll take it. My waffle had no whipped cream. I blame you for that. However, I don't believe it will affect our relationship in a negative way.

Yours Truly,
K

P.S. I apologize for being in my underwear in your presence (even though I think you liked it)

Hello My Name is Kelly and I'm a....

After my fifth, yes I said fifth, cup of coffee so far this morning... I believe my coffee addiction has finally reached its peak and I will soon be passing out on the floor of my cube yelling "quick, bring espresssoooo". Then the girl from down the hall will come down and reprimand me on how many calories are in a skinny vanilla latte and I'll reply "THERE ARE NO CALORIES IN BLACK COFFEE!" biotch. Then I will curl up in a ball and hope that no one finds me underneath my desk, BUT if they dare wake me... they better have a cup of java in one hand and a straw in the other!

It could be worse...