What's In A Name?

So what does one call a person who has the audacity to reach into another person's purse and pull out their wallet not only one week before that person's birthday but also one month before Christmas thus halting said person's ability to buy Christmas presents, go to a bar, or to even sleep comfortably in their own home?

Main Entry: thief
Pronunciation: \ˈthēf\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural thieves \ˈthēvz\
Etymology: Middle English theef, from Old English thēof; akin to Old High German diob thief
Date: before 12th century
: one that steals especially stealthily or secretly; also : one who commits theft or larceny

Main Entry: klep·to·ma·nia
Pronunciation: \ˌklep-tə-ˈmā-nē-ə, -nyə\
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
Date: 1830
: a persistent neurotic impulse to steal especially without economic motive

Main Entry: pick·pock·et
Pronunciation: \ˈpik-ˌpä-kət\
Function: noun
Date: 1591
: a thief who picks pockets

Main Entry: de·spoil
Pronunciation: \di-ˈspȯi(-ə)l\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English despoylen, from Anglo-French despoiller, from Latin despoliare, from de- + spoliare to strip, rob — more at spoil
Date: 14th century
: to strip of belongings, possessions, or value : pillage
synonyms see ravage
— de·spoil·er noun
— de·spoil·ment \-mənt\ noun

My vote?
You're a...

pathetic, useless, fucking asshole, piece of shit, no good, worthless, ignorant son of a bitch dickhead with no spine

and just so you know...

I will find you.